Wednesday, December 25

The Aboriginals of Australia have the right mindset: when things in life are getting a little too hectic, just pop on out and go for walkabout. Nothing clears the mind better than trekking about the wilderness and having to use a leaf to wipe.

The Aboriginals of Australia have the right mindset: when things in life are getting a little too hectic, just pop on out and go for walkabout. Nothing clears the mind better than trekking about the wilderness and having to use a leaf to wipe.

This is one of the main reasons I love cars; they provide escapism for the lazy. Cruising along coastal drives, meandering mountain passes; driving along in a car might not let you feel the grass between your toes but it does provide meditation at speed.

Overlanding, 4x4ing, road trips: such activities are top choices for holidays and there are a whole bunch of niche markets providing you with just the right vehicle you need to get you from A to Beyond.

Nothing makes me happier than the thought of one day owning a Landie, equipping it with a tent and disappearing off into the bundu with an eager partner until we eventually decide to come back to a world of geysers and newspapers. South African self-proclaimed ECOmedian, Mark Sampson, is attempting such an adventure in a 10 tonne Mercedes Gelandewagen he’s branded “The Green Bandwagon”. The Merc will run only off vegetable oil and will support Mark and his three family members on the two-year long drive around Africa.

That’s a little on the extreme side, so if you’re thinking on a smaller scale then there are always camper vans. Have you ever done the ‘Cramper van Waltz’? It’s quite easy: you simply hire a camper van and use it.
It’s the same scenario every time you attempt the smallest action; 1-2-3-check area above head, 1-2-3-tentatively stand up, 1-2-3-inadvertently bang skull/shin/shoulder on unidentified protruding object, 1-2-3-mutter a curse and join family outside for sundowners.

My family has a penchant for hiring camper vans for family road trips, mainly because it gets tiresome putting up a tent every day for three weeks. They’re also better than towing a caravan because they’re more powerful and just cooler really. However, they have been nicknamed ‘Cramper van’ for a reason.

If you’re not as comfortable constantly being in someone else’s personal space – like my family apparently is – then why not go for the far less claustrophobic motorbike option? Actors Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman have completed the Long Way Round (London to New York via Asia) and the Long Way Down (Scotland to Cape Town) on BMW R1200 motorbikes.

Their inspiration was author and journalist Ted Simon who wrote a book about travelling the world on a 500cc Triumph bike. When Simon met Boorman and McGregor on their trip he told them: “I think the motorcycle is best because it puts you in contact with everything. You experience much more closely the nature of the terrain and almost taste the cultures that you're riding through… it's a much more complete experience.”

Speaking of taste and completely immersing yourself in a culture, soon after their encounter with Simon, Boorman had this to say after spending the night with a Mongolian family: “It was balls, cow balls, sheep balls, and goat balls, and there were 200 of them. Ewan went first. He's very good at eating that kind of stuff, he can do it.”

But if two wheels is too Steppenwolf for you, then lets simply stick with the car you have at home and figure out how to ready it for the wide, open road. Famous African explorer and guy-with-the-beard Kingsley Holgate has done more overlanding missions than the wildebeest of the Serengeti.

One of my favourite exploits of his was the Capricorn Adventure, circumnavigating the globe by car along the Tropic of Capricorn. They took along two Land Rovers and all matter of gadgets. Holgate insists the most important of which was a good, strong spade. During the day it was used to dig out stuck vehicles and construct ablution facilities, and at night the spade was cleaned and used as a frying pan. Investing in a waterproof bag for your toilet paper never hurt either.

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