By SHANNON SKAE, health and life coach at Revive with Shan
When you are in an abusive relationship or situation, it can be incredibly difficult to leave.
This is because the abuser has firstly, made you believe that you will never find anyone else better than them. Secondly, they have probably isolated you from everyone and so you feel you have only them. Thirdly, they may control you financially, fourthly, you may blame yourself for the abuse because you have stuck with this person despite it.
There are many reasons people stay in abusive relationships.
What to know if you are still in an abusive relationship:
- You are not to blame
- You did not cause your partner’s abusive behaviour
- You deserve to be treated with respect
- You deserve a safe and happy life
- You are not alone
What possibilities do you have when leaving an abusive partner if you do not live with them:
- Block them on all social media
- Reach out to your family and friends – they will still be there for you
- Tell your story
- Contact a domestic violence hotline
- Do not spend time alone with this person; always have a friend around if they come to your home or workspace
What possibilities do you have when leaving an abusive partner if you do live with them:
- Create your own secret secure bank account
- Keep evidence of the abuse
- Reach out to family members to have a place to go when you leave
- Pack your bags
- If you need to leave when they are asleep – do so
- Seek help from a domestic violence shelter/hotline
- Block the person on social media
- File a restraining order
- Seek therapy from a psychiatrist or psychologist
Remember you are not to blame for the abuse. You deserve happiness and the chance to live a safe life.
