By SHANNON SKAE, health and life coach with Revive with Shan
We all must navigate people we do not like, people who have hurt us in the past, people who do not like us, and people who are just difficult to deal with. This can be draining and leave us with anxiety as to how to respond to them, especially when we cannot avoid them in our workspace, social life, or if they are within our families and friendship circles. They can be colleagues, bosses, in-laws, co-parents, an ex, and the list goes on.
How do you manage this? This article is designed to help you come to terms with toxic people, and possibly provide some insight into how to deal with them.
Tip number 1: You cannot change them so do not even try. You can change your reaction to them, but you cannot change their character or the person that they are.
Tip number 2: You do not have to accept the way they treat you. If they are being rude, you are allowed to tell them that you do not appreciate being spoken to that way. You can set your own boundaries and speak up.
Tip number 3: They do not have power over you. Take back your own personal power and understand that you are in control of yourself. No matter what they say, they do not have any power to control you.
Tip number 4: Understand that this person is most likely projecting their own insecurities onto you and that it is not about you at all. Try not to take it personally.
Tip number 5: BOUNDARIES. Pay attention to them. When something makes you uncomfortable that is a boundary being crossed. When that happens, you are allowed to say no, step away, and remove yourself from the toxic person.
Tip number 6: Be understanding, kind, compassionate, and respectful to everyone, especially yourself.
Tip number 7: Understand your own insecurities and establish why this toxic person picks on you.
Tip number 8: Limit the time that you interact with this person, be polite, but do not engage.
Tip number 9: Do yoga, meditate, or anything else that helps you remain calm before you encounter this person.
Tip number 10: Chat to a close friend who is supportive, so that they have your back if this person tries to hassle you.
Whatever you do, understand that the problem in the situation is not you, but rather the toxic person. When you start to accept that they have bigger issues they are dealing with than you, then you can step back and view them from a more objective standpoint.
You have the power, you are in control, you own your space.