Encouraging your children to ask questions is an insight Zelda la Grange, Nelson Mandela’s personal assistant for nearly two decades, has to share.
Encouraging your children to ask questions is an insight Zelda la Grange, Nelson Mandela’s personal assistant for nearly two decades, has to share.
That’s from her personal experience. And her lasting lesson from the late former president is that it’s much easier to change others than yourself.
La Grange, guest speaker at the annual breast cancer lunch in aid of Grahamstown Hospice, was self-deprecating and, often funny, in her address to a packed Wyvern Club at Kingswood College.
Flayed for recent forays into politics, she stuck this week to reminiscences that illustrated a general theme of growth and transformation that she attributes to Mandela’s influence.
In June 2014, Mandela’s daughter Makaziwe Mandela threatened to sue La Grange when she published her memoir: Good Morning, Mr Mandela.
La Grange was criticised for, among other reasons, detailing family infighting and the side-lining of his widow, Graca Machel, after his death.
La Grange was again in the news in January last year, sparking strong criticism for appearing to ignore South Africa’s divided colonial past after tweeting that she felt white people weren’t welcome in South Africa. She apologised publicly and unreservedly afterwards.
In Grahamstown this week, La Grange spoke of the extraordinary ripple effect her employer had had on her and her family and their friends.
She spoke frankly about the propaganda under which white South African children were raised. “Boksburg was a very conservative community,” she explained. “As a child, you didn’t ask questions.”
She did – although a lot of the questioning happened after she applied for a job in minister without portfolio Jay Naidoo’s office in 1994.
“I thought, ‘Oh, a minister without a portfolio, so there won’t be much work to do',” La Grange told an amused audience.
The story has been well-told of how she ended up working in Mandela’s private office, and how when she was first introduced to him he smiled, walked directly up to her, extended his hand and spoke to her in her home language, Afrikaans.
Describing her work in the former president’s office, La Grange, who enjoyed “a grandfather-granddaughter relationship” with Mandela, had many anecdotes to share.
She concluded with the lessons she had learnt from her 19 years as Madiba’s personal assistant: “Discipline, respect and integrity.”
To illustrate Mandela’s strategic thinking and actions, she recalled his appearance in court when South African Rugby Union president Louis Luyt challenged his decision to launch a commission of inquiry into alleged racism in South African rugby.
“He entered the courtroom and greeted each of Louis Luyt’s legal team personally, speaking to them in Afrikaans.”
Describing herself as the Chihuahua following at his heels, she said she challenged him on his choice to first greet the opposition’s lawyers.
“He said to me, ‘Never to allow the enemy to determine the battleground’,” La Grange said.
La Grange recalled Mandela’s advice that how you approach a person determines how they will respond to you.
She concluded with Mandela’s often repeated advice that it is easier to change others than oneself, and touched on the now – for many – anachronistic concept of the Rainbow Nation.
“It’s not impossible, but that change has to start with us, and our own communities,” La Grange said.
La Grange’s talk was preluded by Dr Sandra Basson, of Bay Radiology, who spoke about the importance of taking control of your health through regular check-ups and, if you are diagnosed with cancer, your treatment.
All proceeds of the lunch will be donated to Grahamstown Hospice
