Bullying behaviour – hitting, name calling, intimidation and abuse – has been around for a very long time.
Bullying behaviour – hitting, name calling, intimidation and abuse – has been around for a very long time.
However, now the internet has opened up a whole new arena in which bullying can take place – hurtful texts and emails, social media posts – including humiliating images – are all forms of bullying and, say the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), cyber bullying causes every bit as much psychological, emotional and physical stress as any other kind of bullying.
It has, they say, spiraling effects on both the victim and the perpetrator, which in some instances can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, suicide and social anxiety – especially when both the bully and victim do not know where to go for help.
“Our typical reaction in response to bullies is to punish the aggressor and rescue the victim, but we also need to remember that a bully is not a horrible child, a bully is a child who is in distress," says psychologist Liane Lurie.
"Children who bully, in many cases, have to deal with the remorse of what they’ve done later in life. We have to avoid pathologising the child, but deal with them in kind, compassionate and reparative ways but with firm boundaries.”
To help individuals deal with bullying and to get insight on how to protect yourself against cyberbullying, SADAG are hosting two free online expert Q & A sessions – called "Facebook Friday" – on 13 May at 1pm and 7pm focusing on bullying and cyberbullying.
This is a great opportunity for parents and teachers to get expert advice tips and coping tools. The sessions are:
1pm with psychologist Liane Lurie, practising psychologist at Akeso in Parktown, Johannesburg. She works with adolescents, adults and families across a broad range of psychological difficulties including – depression, anxiety, trauma, loss, personality disorders, bullying, eating disorders and self harm.
The 7pm chat is with psychologist Cindy van Wyk who is a Neuropsychology, Dialectical Behavioral Therapist and Family therapist lecturer at Midrand Graduate Institute for 3rd year BPsych students. She is also a Clinical Psychologist at The Couch private psychology practice based in Sandton.
To log in to the chat, go to www.sadag.org or directly to The South African Depression and Anxiety Group Facebook Page. Facebook users who would like to remain anonymous can send a private message.
Warning Signs of physical/verbal bullying:
Social withdrawal.
Grades deteriorate.
Fear of going to school or being/seen at work.
Crying to sleep.
Nightmares.
Changes in eating habits.
Refusal to say what’s wrong.
Excuses not to go to school/work.
Unexplainable injuries.
Warning signs of Cyberbullying:
Substance abuse.
Suicidal thoughts.
Social withdrawal.
Unexplainable injuries.
Becoming upset, sad or angry during or after using the Internet or cell phone.
Appears nervous when receiving a text, instant message, or email.
Unwillingness to share information about online activity.
Unexplained anger or depression, especially after going online.
