Young people are constantly on their mobile phones; sending text messages, checking emails, making or receiving calls, even when they are having a face-to-face conversation with another person. If this sounds like you – what does it say about your manners? asks Aurelia Mqoyi.
Mobile phones are a common annoyance to everyone. We have all been irritated by someone talking super-loudly on the phone; sometimes they're so loud that you eventually wonder why they bothered calling the person the other side at all. With such volume they could have easily reached the person without using a phone.
We all know the frustration of having a conversation with your friend when suddenly she screams, “OMG!!” (Oh my gosh) – then you realise she is not responding to something you said, but to the text she is reading on her screen.
Young people are constantly on their mobile phones; sending text messages, checking emails, making or receiving calls, even when they are having a face-to-face conversation with another person. If this sounds like you – what does it say about your manners? asks Aurelia Mqoyi.
Mobile phones are a common annoyance to everyone. We have all been irritated by someone talking super-loudly on the phone; sometimes they're so loud that you eventually wonder why they bothered calling the person the other side at all. With such volume they could have easily reached the person without using a phone.
We all know the frustration of having a conversation with your friend when suddenly she screams, “OMG!!” (Oh my gosh) – then you realise she is not responding to something you said, but to the text she is reading on her screen.
Cell phones have become an essential accessory in our everyday lives. They are everywhere; some people even have more than one. It’s great because we are able to speak to our distant loved ones every day. But like every good thing in life, it has its downfalls.
The cellphone has changed the way youth identify themselves and develop relationships, but most of all it has completely altered social and cultural interactions.
People do not seem to know that there is a time and place for everything; when it is acceptable or unacceptable to be on the phone. We are all familiar with “phone-free” areas and times.
We know that we must switch to silent in libraries, classes, banks, elevators, museums, the doctor’s waiting room, places of worship, and we know better than to let the phone ring during meetings.
But we should add something to that list of times and places where we never answer the phone. Top of the new list should be this: don’t take the call if you are talking to someone else. Phones often take priority over the social context they disrupt.
Face-to-face conversations become overshadowed by calls or texts; people are more interested in who is calling or what is in the text than in talking to each other.
It is important for people to know that when you leave your personal space and enter a social situation, being constantly on the phone keeps you from experiencing the moment and distracts you from engaging with those around you. Most of all yapping on the phone in the presence of others is simply rude!
Imagine you are having a conversation with friends and your cell phone rings. You are likely to react in one of three ways:
•You move away from the people with whom you are chatting to answer the call, or you stop talking for a moment to send a quick text.
•You break up the conversation you are having with your friend by taking the call and chatting on the phone, leaving your friend to wait until the call is finished.
•You continue with your conversation with your friend, let the voicemail facility do its job and attend to the phone later.
Let’s think for a minute about what kind of message you send by each of these responses:
Excuse yourself to answer a call or respond to a text:
This tells the friend with whom you were talking that you are reluctant to interrupt the conversation, but that your incoming cell call or text takes priority. This choice of response shows a lack of real interest in the conversation you were having; you might even have been looking for a distraction which is why you answered the phone so quickly. If you have friends like this you know the feeling: you want to throw away the offending phone and make sure your rude friend is unable to receive or send messages or calls until you have finished your conversation.
You answer the call within two feet of your friends:
You are letting your friends know that you have not even the slightest interest in the conversation – whoever it is on the phone is more important. If it sounds like you – be aware that your cell phone has become another character in your life. You react to its ring like a child reacts when their mother calls. But remember one thing: your time will come and you’ll find out how it feels when your friends prefer a phone to you. And in the meantime? People will be forced to hear your business, even though airing your dirty laundry is uncool.
You continue your conversation with your friends:
The message you give your friends is that your interaction with them takes priority over your incoming call or text. This is what good friends do. Or at least people with good manners. With voice messaging, there is no need to take every call or even to check to see who is calling. If the call is really important, excuse yourself in a way that does not seem to suggest that the conversation is boring. If you are expecting an important call, warn the people you are with and say that you need to step away to receive it.
Perhaps you believe there is truth in the following: “Cell phones are not bad, their users just need to mind their manners”. Agreed.
The purpose of mobiles was to improve communication between people, but the strange thing is that when we use phones rudely it degrades communication.
Most people would understand if you delayed answering your phone. They’ll understand that you are busy, and would call back later at a more appropriate time. It’s easy enough to lose a phone even though it’s constantly in your hand; but if you aren’t considerate about the way you use it, you could find it even easier to lose a friend.
