OK, so stereotypes are out there, rampant. Maybe there’s nothing you can do to get rid of them. But is that any excuse to spread them yourself?
A stereotype is defined as a particular belief or assumption we have about a certain group or individual. It is rarely true, but we never go out of our way to find out. All we do is rattle out these prejudices when we come across a situation that we find challenging.
OK, so stereotypes are out there, rampant. Maybe there’s nothing you can do to get rid of them. But is that any excuse to spread them yourself?
A stereotype is defined as a particular belief or assumption we have about a certain group or individual. It is rarely true, but we never go out of our way to find out. All we do is rattle out these prejudices when we come across a situation that we find challenging.
Of course I’m just as guilty as the next person. I may be a black woman, but I confess it: if I’m walking in the street after dark and I see a group of men, I’d be less afraid if they were white guys than if they were black. If I hear them talking Zulu or any African language, I’m likely to check out and analyse if they look shady or not, and I’d probably cross the road or walk away in fear.
We all know we shouldn't judge – although it is human nature to do so. But I try to remind myself that just because something is human nature doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right.
Funny thing these stereotypes: with just one word you can accept or dismiss a person. You meet someone for the first time and just by their appearance, colour, dress, accent etc, you already make a generalisation about them; you assume you already know the type of person they are. I bet if I asked you to name a few right now, you could sing a long list on the spot. ‘Blondes are dumb, Asians are stingy, Black women are all loud’ and the list goes on. These are all stereotypes, the kind we hear every day and that seem impossible to break away from. This prejudiced behaviour shapes and controls how we think about other peoples. Race, religion, dress, and accent all determine whether we view someone as nice or not.
Take a conversation I had today: someone looks smart, works hard and is successful, but because we are all hyped up about Al Qaeda it only takes one person to say this guy is a terrorist and that’s the end. The guy will find he can’t make friends any more.
But why do we stereotype? Is it because we feel better if we put others down or view them as different? For example, I do not need to speak to Nosipho, so I spare myself the process of getting to know her by making an assumption that because she is black she is probably a thief or lazy, therefore, we will not get along. Or maybe it is simply because deep down we have negative feelings about a group and stereotypes and so we ‘sugar coat’ our feelings as jokes.
One thing I definitely know is that we cannot claim we are ignorant about what we do, and the impact of our words and behaviour. Fact is, stereotypes give us ideas and push us to believe things that are not necessarily true.
So I often wonder where these tendencies of labelling and categorising come from. Are they embedded in our family upbringing? If your parents had negative views about certain people that doesn't mean you have to follow them. If your parents vote for Cope will you vote for the same party? Most kids swallow their parents’ view of others and this affects how they behave towards them. Surely the older we get, the more we should be able to think for ourselves. So why do we continue the cycle? I do not know.
But here’s what is strange: we can refuse to accept the way our parents want us to dress – it’s uncool we say; but it seems we can’t refuse to accept the way they think about other people. Why are we strong enough to form our own fashion opinions, but not strong enough to break free from our parents negativities?
Most people have this sympathetic view of themselves; they consider they are kind, sympathetic and accepting of others. I know I do. Yet I admit that I too fall into the trap of categorising people. And I admit this is wrong because we should see people for the way they are, not judge them according to their race, appearances or what others say.
After my confession that I harbour stereotypes as much as anyone else, I can’t really expect you to listen when I say that they are harmful and that you should never promote them. But that is what I believe, despite the fact that I sometimes fail. People act rudely, arrogantly or stupidly because of their individual personalities – not because of their race or group culture.
