LIFE as a female condom isn’t easy. We are misunderstood, hardly ever invited to join in the action and generally reduced to being a wall flower in the shadows of sex’s superstar, the condom for men. Us female
condoms enjoy sex too!
LIFE as a female condom isn’t easy. We are misunderstood, hardly ever invited to join in the action and generally reduced to being a wall flower in the shadows of sex’s superstar, the condom for men. Us female
condoms enjoy sex too!
But critics accuse us of making the vagina look more like a science experiment than a fount of pleasure. The result is that we, female condoms (who prefer being called femidoms) remain alone and forgotten on a dusty pharmacy shelf crying: “Use me, use me!”
Our type is no new kid on the block; we have been having orgies and tequila shots since the 80s. But many claim to have never heard of our rock star antics.
Sex educators avoid demonstrating how femidoms work. Few people fully recognise the role the banana has played in the male condom’s rise to fame.
If only grapefruits were as reasonable! Finding a suitable fruit prop for a vagina is clearly more challenging. We are not promoted much either.
Nonduniso Pinyanae, HIV councillor at the Raphael Centre, says that they only demonstrate and distribute femidoms if they are specifically asked to.
Nurse Julie Radu claims that women are scared of us and actually prefer the male alternative. No wonder people are scared when they have no idea who we are!
Why are we so unpopular? What did we ever do to deserve this ill treatment? Those with a passion for gender studies agree that the femidom is yet another victim of repression from the patriarchal society.
Lack of femidom use is simply phallic propaganda! In 2005, 12 million of us were distributed to women in the developing world in comparison with a whopping six to nine billion male condoms.
Clear favouritism. Sex educator suspicions run so high one local educator has gone so far as calling for our speedy redesign.
“It’s really not attractive,” says Nola Elliott, the operations manager of the Raphael HIV/Aids centre. Some users have been known to complain of a rustling noise during sex so the poor femidom starts to feel more like a chastity belt than a method for protection.
Male condoms boast that they are easier to use. But everyone knows the man is a calculator while the woman is an intricately programmed rocket ship.
Being able to use the femidom may not something you can add to your CV; however it is a skill you should be proud to have.
First the user removes the lovely, lubey femi from its packet (warning: ripping the packet with your teeth may damage us) and gently stretches it out.
Femidoms are twisty, kinky little ladies and the smaller of the two rings must be twisted into a figure of eight for insertion.
Sex with the femidom is not an impromptu affair. Ladies, you have to seduce a femidom and earn its trust. The femidom needs a few hours to slip into somewhere comfortable, to warm up and snuggle into the vagina.
Yet our slow-down attitude towards sex continues to be slandered. Femidoms get cited as a protection method for girls who will get too drunk to remember the condom later.
“I don’t want girls to insert a femidom and go get wasted,” says Elliott. And we agree! The femidom, like the male condom, needs a friendly, responsible sexual environment to perform at its prime.
In conclusion, all that us female condoms want is a fair chance on the playing field. We are a previously disadvantaged protection method and we need professionals to take up our case.
Femidoms of Grahamstown would like to thank Sharc from Rhodes University for their continued support. And we appeal to His Majesty’s Fruit and Veg for a drop in grapefruit prices.
