It’s Women’s Month, so let’s talk about sex. After all, if a woman isn’t sexually liberated, how can we pretend she’s achieved equal status in society? This isn’t about the free-love of the 60s but about a woman’s basic right to protect her own body.
It’s Women’s Month, so let’s talk about sex. After all, if a woman isn’t sexually liberated, how can we pretend she’s achieved equal status in society? This isn’t about the free-love of the 60s but about a woman’s basic right to protect her own body.
While 350 million male condoms were distributed in South Africa last year, just 3.5 million female condoms were dispersed, according to the 30 July edition of the Mail & Guardian.
Grahamstown’s local pharmacies and clinics only validate this statistic. The availability of the female condom, commonly known as the femidom, is scant.
Both Butler’s Pharmacy and Grahamstown Pharmacy do not stock femidoms – although they can be ordered and delivered within a day if requested.
“We’ve sold a few, but it’s more of an exception than the rule,” said pharmacist John Frielinghaus. There’s simply “no demand,” he said.
Some may attribute the scarce supply of the female condom to lack of education, but even educated healthcare institutions appear reluctant to support this as a viable method of protection.
At the Raphael Centre, HIV/Aids counsellor, Nondumiso Pinyana only demonstrates how to use a female condom if a woman specifically asks for one.
Pinyana doesn’t offer it as an option for birth control or disease prevention in her regular counselling sessions.
A nurse at the centre, Julie Radu, said she distributes an average of 100 male condoms per month, and rarely gives out female condoms, if ever.
Part of the problem could be in the difficulty of demonstration for educators, reflected Radu. “There’s no specimen for the female condom,” she said.
The Anglo-African Clinic didn’t have any female condoms in stock, nor did the Settler’s Day Hospital. Sister Luleka Mayekiso, of the hospital, said that female condoms were “being phased out” because they are difficult to use.
“The condom has to be in the vagina for eight hours [before use],” said Mayvkiso, “this is uncomfortable to the layperson”.
The fact is – preventing sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies is not entirely up to a woman she depends on her male counterpart to take the necessary precautions if both are to be avoided.
While oral contraceptives can prevent pregnancy, it cannot guard against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like HIV or gonorrhoea.
And, although the diaphragm has been around since the 1880s, it’s no defence against STDs either. If a woman’s sexual wellbeing is to be safe-guarded, then men need to be on board.
But what happens when a man won’t cooperate? According to Mayekiso, this is an unfortunate and all-too-common scenario.
“We don’t have any option but counselling men, telling them about options [of contraception]they can use,” she said.
This leaves the woman highly vulnerable because, as Mayekiso said, “It relies on the man.” With the mystery surrounding the femidom even among health professionals one would think it’s a new invention, but in fact, it has been around for more than ten years.
Many professionals in Grahamstown are unclear about its correct usage, and offered conflicting information.
One counsellor said the condom needed to be in three hours prior to intercourse, another nurse said eight.
The instructions that accompany the FC brand of femidom makes no mention of the number of hours of insertion before use.
Yet there are valid reasons for not using a female condom. Convenience, availability, comfort – even aesthetics all make switching from the male alternative a difficult transition.
But if using a new method allows women to take their health into their own hands, shouldn’t we endure a bit of discomfort and inconvenience?
The reality is, there are no easy solutions to safe sex. Even if a female does wear the condom in the relationship, it does not absolve her partner of all responsibility.
A man needs to know and understand how to engage with her in the correct manner – that the penis needs to be guided into the ‘bag’ of the female condom to ensure it does not slip between it and the vaginal wall.
When we weigh up all our options for contraception and protection, we still find that sex is not simply a physical act we can ‘just do’ safely without first establishing a relationship of trust and engaging in conversation with our partners. So come on, in light of Women’s Month, let’s talk about sex, and let’s keep the conversation going.
