Dating for young people is a rocky road at the best of times, but for township residents with little money and nowhere to go it becomes a real challenge.
Dating for young people is a rocky road at the best of times, but for township residents with little money and nowhere to go it becomes a real challenge.
“Dating is for people who are privileged,” says Joza resident Bonani Manyathi (21). “I can’t afford those kinds of things.”
Manyathi’s idea of going out with his girlfriend involves inviting her to his home where they sit and chat. “She always has to come to my house because her parents know that we are dating but they have never met me,” he says.
He says that he has never taken his girlfriend out on a date and she has never complained because she understands that he cannot afford to.
“I don’t do those things,” he says, shaking his head. “I would rather buy her some biscuits and cooldrink because there are no places where we can go to entertain ourselves in the township.”
For Phakamani Koranisi (22), who works for Cacadu irrigation, dating depends on how serious the relationship is.
“When I first met my girlfriend two years ago, I knew that I needed to make her realise that I was looking for a serious relationship with her so I offered to take her to Spur,” he said.
“I wanted to show her that I was not only interested in having sex with her but [getting to]know her too.” Although Koranisi has since stopped taking his girlfriend on dates in town, he has found other creative ways of spending time with her in the township.
“We walk to church together even though we attend separate churches or she comes to my house and we watch movies.”
“Hay’ke!” said one of the women who overheard the conversation. “Guys like him are very rare my dear because with some when you ask them where they take their girlfriends out for dates they will ask you which one as there are many,” she says laughing.
According to the woman, who co-owns a business, when a guy says that he is dating you, he also means that “after the date we must go to bed”.
Masibulele Mlengana (23), an electrical engineering graduate, believes in taking his girlfriend out on special occasions if he has the money.
“If I say to her look, babes I don’t have the money, she understands,” he says. Mlengana believes that there are no places to take your girlfriend out in the townships as he says “the only places which have filled the townships are taverns which I don’t regard as a suitable place to take someone on a date.”
He believes that if you have high regard for your girlfriend and you view her as someone with whom you can have a serious relationship, you would not want to take her to a place where people get drunk.
“They [the elders]would not respect someone whom I take to taverns,” said Mlengana. “Besides I believe in loving a person for who they are and not for what they have which is more important than focusing on always taking a person out on dates,” said Mlengana.
