So I am going to court this week. No, I didn’t break into any house. Someone stole from me. Actually, “someone allegedly stole from me”.
 

So I am going to court this week. No, I didn’t break into any house. Someone stole from me. Actually, “someone allegedly stole from me”.
 

As the matter is sub judice, I am barred from directly addressing it. For the uninitiated, the sub judice rule generally proscribes public discussion of a case as long as it’s still being argued in court.

To be fair, the rule works best in countries where the accused are tried before a jury of their peers. It’s common sense to assume that public discussions of a case would sway the jurors’ opinions one way or the other.

Think back for example, when then Deputy ANC President Jacob Zuma was accused of forcing himself on an HIV-positive woman on the one hand;and the woman was in turn accused of wearing a kanga, staying for breakfast and asking for transport money.

There are lots of decent South Africans  who decided one way or the other just from the media storm. Anyway, that’s the reason I am not shooting my mouth off on this issue.

Suffi ce to say that I found a rather menacing notice in my mailbox ordering me to appear as witness in a case of a stolen item.

To be honest, I am both puzzled and a little scared. Most law-abiding citizens generally dread courts. It’s where people get divorced and fi le restraining orders; it’s chock-full with alleged murderers, rapists and ATM bombers; it has loads of security; and there is the real and constant threat of a break-out.

Incidentally, did you know what happens to an otherwise innocent person if she refused to testify? Well, a judge can adjudge her to be in contempt of court and sentence her to jailuntil she agrees to speak up.

Apparently, that’s how Lady Justice does her business. The curious thing about this justice woman is that she’s blind- to use that worn-out phrase from legal mumbo jumbo.

Put  another way, justice has no sight; which to a sane person means she needs Braille or one of those Dogs for  the Blind canines. So while Lady Justice appears to have other well-developed senses, sight ain’t one of  them!

Indeed, from where I stand, the Miss has selective vision. She has 20/20 vision for the wretched; and then gets sudden blindness in front of the rich and fancy.

That might explain why an 18-year old is sent away  for fi ve years for snatching a lady’s handbag, while an MP who skids off the road in a drunken stupor  has his urine sample switched by the cops who arrested him.

Feel free to include as many of these either/or scenarios as you’ve experienced or heard of. Then take pity on those who’ve been screwed over because  Lady Justice needs a new pair of glasses!

•Sim believes that prisoners should have no gym, TV or yoghurt.

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