“I never give it a second thought…When I see an interracial couple walking down the street, it is just like seeing a same-race couple. They are just people.”
“I never give it a second thought…When I see an interracial couple walking down the street, it is just like seeing a same-race couple. They are just people.”
As the smell of freshly brewed lemongrass fills her home, Almal Rouhani eagerly picks up another chocolate biscuit off the porcelain plate, as her other delicate hand finds the palm of her husband’s who in turn wholeheartedly enfolds it. She has been holding this very hand for over 50 years. Chowghi Rouhani sits beside her with his wife’s face faintly reflected on the silk turquoise collar of his tightly wrapped dressing gown. An aura of wisdom hangs over his words as he tells the tale of the trip he took to a market in Cairo that unexpectedly changed his life. Being Egyptian and Iraqi by birth, the differences of their origins are simply irrelevant as they fell in love and grew closer together through the Bahai faith.
Almal and Chowghi are parents of an inter-racial couple. The Rouhani’s immigrated to South Africa five years ago as their son was intending to be marry a white Afrikaans girl. ‘I am very happy about it,” she says. “The Bahai faith believes that all people are one. We are all flowers of the same garden, so there is no difference between you if you are white or if you are dark.” This belief however, was not reciprocated by the other new in-laws. Alisha and Qurban’s marriage was postponed for three years as the mother of the bride could not give her blessing, which is a necessity for marriage in the Bahai faith.
Inter-racial relationships, a phenomenon that was condemned a mere 15 years ago during the apartheid era, has become a liberated right throughout the country. In some cases inter-racial relationships are even exalted.
“When I look at an inter-racial couple, I esteem them. They have crossed the barrier and have found the beauty that is in our differences,” says Almal. The Bahai faith in a sense promotes inter-racial relationships as it is believed that a mixture of all the races in the world would ultimately create what is referred to as the “golden race”. The word golden not only refers to the skin tone that would result from this racial mixing, but also to the genetic quality, as they would obtain the best genes from all the races in the world.
Society’s views on inter-racial relationships are found within a spectrum of opinions. However, this spectrum is shifting as the younger generation, who have been able to think independently about these issues, are becoming more prominent within society. Susan Baker, a clinical psychologist in Port Elizabeth says “Inter-racial relationships are becoming more acceptable throughout society today. It has become clear that the younger generation has totally accepted it, whereas the older generations within society have not.” When it comes to issues such as these, individuals from all races that have grown up within the propagandised racist mentality of the apartheid regime find it much more difficult to escape the enforced mindset of those times.
Michael*, a man who has been in an inter-racial relationship for twelve years speaks positively about the acceptance he and his wife receives from society. Being Mauritian with a mixture of French, German and Indian blood, Shareen*, his wife, sees racism around her on a frequent basis, yet experiences it on a social level instead of a level that involves her relationship. “Even though we have not experienced negative attitudes towards our relationship, I think people still do see each other in terms of colour,” she says.
The mentality that inter-racial relationships are much more difficult to manage than relationships of the same race is being overcome as the ridicule from society towards these couples has slowly been disappearing. Anne Harris, the director of FAMSA (Families South Africa) in Grahamstown says “There are more conflicts around expectations, gender roles, and traditional roles within a family, than conflicts concerning race in inter-racial relationships.” Facing the same issues as other couples, Michael and Shareen have developed a level of understanding about each other’s cultures and experience acceptance from the community in which they live.
Although mostly young people are open-minded about it, pressure from parents plays a large role in the frequency of inter-racial couples within the younger portion of society. “Teenagers are encouraged to have friendships with as many races as possible, but are greatly discouraged by their parents the moment the relationship turns romantic,” Baker proclaims. Steven Thompson, a Rhodes BSc student who has dealt with this predicament says “As a white male the last thing I ever expected is having a black girlfriend, but it turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life.” While resisting the ridicule from his parents and embracing the acceptance from his peers, Thompson’s relationship with his Xhosa girlfriend has pushed the boundaries of what even he has considered as acceptable within his own life.
As the past taboo on inter-racial relationships gradually dies out of South Africa, the racist mentality of our country slowly follows behind it. Although this is not an issue that has been resolved, it is an issue that highlights the important role that the youth plays in our society today, changing the ways of our past and moving us into a future where the potential of our immense diversity may be reached.
* Names have been changed.
