You meet a friend of a friend of a friend. The exchange is pleasant but brief. An hour later you sit down at your computer.
You meet a friend of a friend of a friend. The exchange is pleasant but brief. An hour later you sit down at your computer.
On Facebook the red notification pops up: you have one new friend request – yes, it’s from that ‘random’ you’ll probably never see again.
Some people seem to accumulate Facebook friends like hoarders do bird feeders. Thousands of Facebook friends might mean that you’re popular. Or perhaps you’re just a hoarder – a people hoarder.
Why not creep from a distance? Everyone creeps – that’s what Facebook is for. ‘Facebook creeping’ is the act of looking at people’s profiles (personal information, posts, and pictures), usually with voyeuristic tendencies. Is that why we receive random Facebook invites? So that strangers can ‘creep’ restricted photographs that only friends are authorised to see? Or perhaps some people are just socially awkward and too scared to approach you in real life.
Inviting people soon after you’ve been introduced is not always a bad thing. It’s flattering to be noticed. People might want to know you because they think you’re interesting. Inviting someone on the social networking site could initiate a long and meaningful relationship.
A stranger invited me soon after meeting me. And yes I thought it was strange at first, but now we’re inseparable.
In my opinion, when you invite someone on Facebook you should expect a lasting friendship in real life – the online existence is secondary. So, a premature friend request is only acceptable if first, you have a meaningful connection with me. Second, we must both trust that there will be a lasting friendship. And third, there has to be a genuine intention to follow through with the online invitation in real-life – like a coffee or drinks date.
If you intend to build a professional social capital – where you keep contacts that are likely to help out once in a while – use sites such as LinkedIn where social interaction remains professional. So if you have any ‘randoms’ that you’ve mistakenly accepted as friends, I would suggest ‘unfriending’ them.
This can sometimes be awkward, so be prepared for social consequences. Unfriending someone online generally means that you don’t want to be their friend in real life and people take it personally.
But don’t be afraid to spring-clean once in a while.
It should be done at least once a year. Can’t decide who to delete? Start with those who invited you but seem to look away when they see you in the street. Then move onto those who don’t add value to your life – you’re doing them a favour too.
Here are two more user-friendly social media tips: Don’t tag friends in bad or provocative pictures – some people have their parents and bosses on Facebook. Limit the sharing of personal information, it’s annoying when you ‘over-share’. Seriously, nobody needs to know what your cat just ate.
About that ‘random’ invite, I haven’t seen him since our first encounter and he hasn’t contacted me. It makes me wonder why he even bothered. But I’ll probably wait a while before unfriending him – he may be a stalker or our next president – we never know who's worth our time. Perhaps that's why we accept random invites.
