By Mbali Tanana
What was supposed to be a fun night out with her sister at a local tavern ended in tragedy for a 25-year-old Makhanda woman who was tricked out of the tavern by someone she knew, who ultimately raped her.
The Tantyi resident says that speaking out and reporting the incident helped her heal and gave her some sense of peace.
“Tormenting yourselves and suffering in silence is no way to live after being a victim of gender-based violence, nor is taking your own life. Trust the law to deal with your case and justice will be served,” says 25 year old rape survivor, the young woman said.
She was speaking at the Albany Archdeaconry Grahamstown Church as part of the 16 Days of Activism campaign hosted by the church’s Mother’s Union recently.
Sharing her plight in a room of about 30 church moms, and a few officials from the National Prosecuting Authority, South African Police Service and Department of Social Development, who were among the partners of the programme, the young woman boldly narrated her rape story of how she became a victim of someone she knew and thought she could trust when he convinced her that her sister whom she had come to the tavern with, had left her.
The perpetrator, no stranger to her, but a neighbour from the same area where her sister stayed, told her, upon her return from the restrooms, that her sister had left after her boyfriend came to fetch her. Confused and concerned, knowing her sister would not leave without informing her, the survivor didn’t hesitate to ask the man she knew to accompany her to her sister’s boyfriend’s place, as she wanted to make sure she was safe.
However, this was exactly what her perpetrator was counting on when he led her to a house she didn’t know after wielding a knife at her and repeatedly raped her.
Her message was clear, “Do not keep quiet, speak up, do not suppress and do not be scared to report your perpetrator. Being abused is not a nice feeling. Having to bottle the incident within and not speaking about it to anyone eats away at you. Not reporting to the relevant law authorities makes it worst. You live with so much guilt, the least you can do for yourself is to speak about it to someone, even if you write about it on a piece of paper that you will hand over to a police officer at the police station,” she said.
The Makhanda local said there was some relief in speaking out and reporting the matter, “it lifts a huge burden from your shoulders” then it stops being your problem, but the law authority’s responsibility to now find the perpetrator.
“By reporting you are not just freeing yourself, but you are warning the community and possibly saving the next victim. It is the perpetrator now that will constantly be looking behind their back, living in fear of when they will be arrested because they do care,” she said.
South African Police Service family violence and sexual offences official Siphokazi Yolani said the young woman’s was one of many cases they often dealt with, particularly with alcohol being the common denominator.
“December is the busiest time of the year for our office, as we will have many cases relating to alcohol of incidents happening at or after victims came from taverns. What makes it difficult is that some of the victims don’t know their perpetrators, unlike the young survivor who’s case was easier to solve. So in cases when the suspect is not known, the process takes very long as we only rely on DNA, but we reiterate the importance of reporting cases instantly and coming to the police station straight after an incident so we can have some DNA to lead with,
NPA Grahamstown official Mlandeli Mkhwane said he was disappointed to see that the invitation for the event was not extended to men, as none attended, besides the visiting officials.
“Men need to be part of this discussion because they are part of the problem. Now to be part of the solution they need to be engaged and they need to know to teach their sons about how to be respectful of women, especially now during the time when many boys are in the mountains and will be returning as men. They need to return as men who are very mindful and respectful of women. This is a very opportune time to remind them that they have the duty to protect women especially because every man is born of a woman,” he said.
Albany Archdeaconry Presiding Nombeko Mvula said through the programme, the church was doing its part to raise awareness about GBV with this year’s theme; RISE UP – acronyms for report, inform support, empower, unite and pray.
“We need to stand for change. We cannot be watching our young girls and elderly women fall victim to GBV still. They need to know we are safe place to report and to comfort to also help them deal with their trauma,” she said.
