Debbie was 16 years old when she was raped by her boyfriend. “I was intimidated, I was terrified of him. I didn’t say anything for three years. It took me three years to admit it was rape.
Debbie was 16 years old when she was raped by her boyfriend. “I was intimidated, I was terrified of him. I didn’t say anything for three years. It took me three years to admit it was rape.
It’s a horrible feeling.” Her message to women who are made to feel ashamed and isolated? “It’s not your crime! “My main fear was that no one would believe me.
On this day I no longer have that fear. I can say this happened to me and I’ll actually be listened to.” For Dana, protesting continues to be a cathartic experience.
“I carried a lot of guilt for a long time the things he said I knew this was wrong, but I didn’t say shit. There are six or seven other girls dressed in purple, giving you a knowing glance. The protest brings about so much solidarity.”
On the morning of last year’s protest Dana felt a nervous, excited buzz. “You’ve psyched yourself up to do it, and it takes a lot of psyching up.
You need to maintain your strength in knowing you’re doing something important.” When Debbie participated in the first protest in 2007, the experience mentally and physically challenged her.
“I felt the most drained in my life, we were a very small group, maybe 40. People reacted very strangely it was such a new thing. Someone came up to me and pinched my nose shut.”
After this harrowing experience, Debbie didn’t participate in the 2008 protest. In 2009, however, rape survivor t-shirts were included in the protest and she chose to speak out more boldly by wearing one.
“As a rape survivor, I’ve become gradually more confident since being at Rhodes.” In solidarity, Dana taped her mouth closed for the first time in 2008. “It was difficult.
It forces you to deal with things. All you want to do is talk; it physically makes you want to talk.” In 2009 she decided to wear the rape survivor t-shirt.
“Wearing it is a hectic thing: here’s a chance to actually speak out. The general public on campus don’t know how many people they know who have been raped.”
But then there you are in an English tutorial, and suddenly the issue becomes much more immediate. “We are rape survivors, no longer victims. We need to be an example for people now.”
The protest taught Debbie that she often tries to intellectualise her experience. “Rape isolates you; this [protest]reconnects you with other people who have gone through similar experiences.
I learned I talk a lot, use words to try to make myself not feel emotions.” Dana agrees: “I always feel I want to talk myself out of things, if more people know maybe it’s not a big deal, but when you’re quiet your thoughts, emotions become a corporeal thing.
You acknowledge rape over and above the word. “Sexual violence = silence. There is never too much for us to say, because for me the more you talk, the more you have to say.
It’s an enriching, growing, and cathartic experience. It helps people who have been raped to deal with it.” Dana thinks people perceive rape in similar terms as they do Aids.
“It’s not your problem unless you’re affected. The country is at war in terms of gender. “If you live to be 50 years old, chances are you will have been raped. There’s never a reason to stop. Statistics are still so high, people still so apathetic. “We won’t shut up.”
