I have this disease. I can’t say the ‘n’ word the one opposite to yes. I over-commit myself completely. I am one of those people who seems very organised and on top of everything, who makes you wonder what you’re doing wrong.
I have this disease. I can’t say the ‘n’ word the one opposite to yes. I over-commit myself completely. I am one of those people who seems very organised and on top of everything, who makes you wonder what you’re doing wrong.
Trust me, it’s not as easy as it looks. While my CV looks amazing, I look, and feel, awful. Every offer and opportunity that comes my way is for a good cause.
They make me feel like I will make a meaningful contribution to the community. But… and there is always a but.
I do as much as I can. I volunteer, I chair one society and am the secretary for another. I am on the SRC Society’s council.
I work and, somewhere in between, I’m trying to get a degree. As lovely as all these things sound and as helpful they are to the community, my involvement in them is often detrimental to the people I’m trying to help.
I often end up running around like a headless chicken. My energy spilling out of the open cavity where my head should be.
Time management is a skill I think I have mastered despite what others say. I substitute sleep and food for work. It’s not that bad.
I grab a packet of chips along the way… they have carbs, protein, kilojoules… When I do eventually stop I see people all around me sitting. Just sitting. Not working sitting.
Sitting and looking. Looking at nothing.Doing nothing. I want to scream: do something! I wish I could become a time reaper.
Creep up behind someone and bang! Suck up all their time and bottle it away for me to keep. Then I could sit and do nothing.
Or spend time, not actually waste it, just sitting with my boyfriend. Wallowing in the seconds and minutes, instead of jotting him into my diary as a meeting.
Perhaps I could read a book. Perhaps I could walk, eat and even sleep. Next time you look at people like me in the world remember this and be happy that you are wiser then we are. I enjoy my life – don’t get me wrong.
The thing is, I wake up each morning from the recurring nightmare of a mountain of books tumbling down and squashing me before I get it all done.
I try to leave this horror in the night where it belongs but it inevitably manages to escape into the day and haunt me.
While we shouldn’t be idle with our time, it should be used more wisely. Spend it on things that leave memories.
Things which you are happy to let follow you around the next day. Spend time sitting and looking at nothing, because you can. And because it’s actually quite pleasant. I’ve just said yes again…I’m off!
